Monday, September 26, 2005
Every day I get hundreds of E-mails about gadgets, toys, equipments, enhancers, enlargers, enforcers, beholders, upholders,improvers, inducers, indulgers, psudopores, artilators,fagobusters, lacers, hornicups, dildos, cliphornias, gigandolls, lollipop condoms, fuckfish fetish, puffbabes, surrynami fuck dolls, voodoo pleasure dolls, Iranian sex marble rings, and jegilion other products that causing me my hair just from thinking how do they function and on whom.....?!?!
which remind me by the way... of our current subject...
WE NEED COMMENTS ON WHAT YOU READ PEOPLE....!!!
just kidding, actually we really really need to know that there are people who do actually read what we post...
now for the Erotic part...
I don't know how that happened, but there is a big gap between the Andalusian era of Islamic civilization and the 1800 of the Arab nations...
I think that every one has a good pic of what it was like at that time: every one is clean,cozy, polite, humble, lots of legal sex in the city, gardens all over the place science was the language and of course arts....and we tag in the rival: dirt and sand every where, every one is poor, miserable life, no money no Honey, nobody can read; how could they they don't have money to buy paper... so how did that happen, every one knows that when a era of a nation ends it doesn't go backward, it simply slow it's pace or actually can't follow the other nations, but why that didn't happen to our case, why we became Bedouins and camel fuckers (I don't know from where did they brought it but no one not even camels dig this thing).....?!?!
some people still think these times were the best....?!?!
and get that straight if you are one of those people....
whats lovely or fine is it in riding small boat full of horny horny horny grumpy men, and sail to shallow sea for 4 months without getting laid, dive in shark infested area just to pick up oysters (not to be used as food, but to play a gamble game called "Find the fucking DANNA") and if u succeed in avoiding stupid shark(Yar'yoor) taste bite (usually in a crucial fatal area),you have to take care and watch your back cause in the sea you are in a PRISON where fucking your ass is the goal of every "seaman", and don't tell me that you start your career by becoming a "El'Seeb" السـيب cause that mean that you're thee Geisha of the ship were you'll be firstly introduced to the "Nokhetha" or captain of the ship, and this guy make Bueno excellentee* (of Hitman comics) look like a school girl eyeing boys in the hood....!!!
you see this guy will be a horny midget(some say tall) fat bastard that don't lack hair nor pimples and has eccentric scenes of nature inside the tent that we call "Wo'zaar"....and in the case that Nokhetha is straight (every one in Kuwait is straight but have tetrasexual desires) nobody fucks nobody until the situation were masturbation would be on public view, and the shark feed on seamen rather that seamen and fish....!!!
in that case a scape goat would be available(just kidding although I met some goat fuckers), this goat is the Stingray, the stingray fish is called "Lokh'ma" no need to describe it (I'm getting sick... have to rap it up quickly) is seduced by the seamen to come aboard, but on refusal some stick and angry horny seaman would do the job of escorting the bride of the "Boom" (name of the ship type)....!!!
so why did they choose the poor stingray(female of course ) to do this type of indulgence.....?!?!
well some sick bastards once told me that the vagina of that fish is identical to a woman's (please don't try this at home or in public it's not like the sick dude in American Pie), and for that fact seaman have their way with the fish...
the bride well go to the Nokhetha to please him first (u don't want a loony horny sick nokhy on your back... do u....!!!), then going downward according to rank and age and hornistic levels.....!!!
in the end what do u expect of a generation raised by stingray fuckers.....?!?!(that was quick)
*Bueno excelentee is a super hero with supreme pervertism as his power....!!!
how to seduce the stingray and make it horny....!!!
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
2. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that
this is your "personal space."
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all
of you just shut UP!"
4. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act
embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear
the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
16. Do Tai Chi exercises.
17. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new
18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion
19. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
20. Meow occassionally.
21. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
22. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
23. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
24. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
25. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and
move to the far corner of the elevator.
28. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
29. Leave a box between the doors.
30. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
31. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
32. Start a sing-along.
33. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"
34. Play the harmonica.
35. Shadow box.
36. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
37. Lean against the button panel.
38. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
39. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
40. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
41. Bring a chair along.
42. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
43. Blow spit bubbles.
44. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
45. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
46. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
47. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
48. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
49. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
50. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
can you think of funnier things too, do share please....
read this story...
A American soldier was deported to Iraq and after being there for a while he received a long awaited letter from his girlfriend back home which reads:
I can no longer accept our relationship. The distance between us is drifting us apart. I have to admit that I have already betrayed you twice which is not fair for either one of us. I am sorry and I hope that you will forgive me and send me back my picture which you always carry around.
The soldier, feeling offended and hurt, asks his friends in the army to all lend him as many pictures they have of girlfriends, mothers, sisters, female cousins, etc... He gathers 57 pictures which he places in an envelope and writes the following note:
I am sorry but I could not remember who exactly you are. So could you please be an angel and pick up your picture from among the rest and send them back to me?!
Good luck, Ricky.
124 Simple Exercises For the Teeth.....!!!
A Hundred Dead People Nobody Misses.....!!!
How to Hug Your Self Like a Man.......!!!
A Treasury Of Poorly Understood Ideas....!!!
Apartment Hunting For Devil Worshipers.....!!!
Backpacking For Shut-ins....!!!
Caring For the Seated ....!!!
Chances Are Your Sister's Full Of Shit.....!!!
Controlling Fear Without Getting Frightened....!!!
Cooking For the Paralyzed.....!!!
Cooking With Heat.....!!!
Don't Throw Away Your Old Skin....!!!
Eat, Run, Stay Fit, and Die Anyway.....!!!
Famous Bullshit Stories.....!!!
Famous People Who Ate Shit For Breakfast.....!!!
Fill Your Life With Croutons......!!!
How To Become a Grease Ball .....!!!
How To Do Everything At Once .....!!!
How To Filet a Panda .....!!!
How To Filet a Pinguin....!!!
How To Get a Tan With a Flashlight ......!!!
How To Get Back From Alhasawi .....!!!
How To Give a King a Really Hard Time....!!!
How To Give People Your Best Regards ....!!!
How To Give Yourself a Complete Physical Without Getting Undressed.....!!!
How To Kill a Rat With an Oboe .....!!!
How To Kill Your Nephew ....!!!
How To Lease Out the Space Inside Your Nose ....!!!
How To Organize a Tupperware Gang-Bang .....!!!
How To Seem Intelligent ....!!!
How To Spoil Other People's Fun.....!!!
How To Spot a Creep From a Distance....!!!
How To Start a Range War .....!!!
How To Turn Unbearable Pain Into Extra Income....!!!
How To Wave Good-bye Without Moving Your Arms .....!!!
How to Fake Your Death at the Age of 123 ......!!!
I Gave Up Hope and Died and It Worked .....!!!
I Suck You Suck ....!!!
I fuck You Fuck....!!!
Kamasutra For the Cripple .....!!!
Let's Change the Alphabet....!!!
Marriage For One .....!!!
My Cat Is a Real Fruit.....!!!
Peace Of Mind By Losing Complete Control For Sixteen Hours a Day.....!!!
Poems For the Insane ......!!!
Re-organizing Your Pockets.....!!!
Rid Yourself Of Doubt--Or Should You? .....!!!
Self Mutilation As an Attention Getter .....!!!
Six Countries No One Has Ever Been To.....!!!
Six Ways To Fuck Up Before Breakfast .....!!!
Six-Hundred Ways To Give People the Shaft.....!!!
Sixty-four Good Reasons For Giving Up Hope .....!!!
Sport Fishing With Power Saws .....!!!
Ten Things We Don't Know Yet ....!!!
The Complete List Of Everyone's Personal Affects....!!!
The Food Coloring Diet .....!!!
The Intravenous Cookbook .....!!!
The Meaning Of Corn ....!!!
The Stains In Your Shorts Can Indicate Your Future....!!!
The Wrong Underwear Can Kill .....!!!
There's Big Money In Staying Put .....!!!
Things No One Can Help .....!!!
Tips On Getting Laid ....!!!
Tremble Your Way To Fitness....!!!
Trotting Across Zaire ......!!!
Understanding People You'll Never Meet.....!!!
What To Wear On the Toilet ......!!!
Why Hawaii and Norway Are Not Near Each Other....!!!
Why It Doesn't Snow Anymore .....!!!
Why Gay people Love Dicks Rather Than Pussies.....!!!
Why God Created the Jews.....!!!
You Give Me Six Weeks and I'll Give You Some Disease.....!!!
Your Shoes Are Worth Money .....!!!
Your Thighs Control Your Life.....!!!
الفـن شـرف و شرف الفــن ---مذكرات فيفي عبده
كنت جميلة--- نادية جكر الجندي
كيف تمثلين دور بنت الثنوية في عمر الستين--- ليلى علوي& مرفت أمين& شويكار
كيف تشرب و تقود السيارة في امريكا (للطلبة المغتربين
كيف تسكر من غير خمر
كيف تقتل 4 دكاترة جامعة
كيف تنثر 30 مليار دينار كويتي سنويا على الخمة
كيف تكون بقرة حلوب
كيف تكون مشهورا لأكثر من يومين في الكويت
الكون في قشرة موز
دليل الانترنت للارهابيين
if u can think of something too, do share....!!!
> > Last name: ________________
> > First name: (Check appropriate box)
> > (_) Billy-Bob
> > (_) Billy-Joe
> > (_) Billy-Ray
> > (_) Billy-Sue
> > (_) Billy-Mae
> > (_) Billy-Jack
> > What does everyone call you?
> > (_) Booger
> > (_) Bubba
> > (_) Junior
> > (_) Sissy
> > (_) Other___________________
> > Age: ____ (if unsure, guess) _____ Not sure
> > Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
> > Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
> > (_) Farmer
> > (_) Mechanic
> > (_) Hair Dresser
> > (_) Unemployed
> > (_) Dirty Politician
> > (_) Preacher
> > (_) Strip Dancer
> > (_) Hooker
> > Spouse's Name:_________________________
> > 2nd Spouse's Name:______________________
> > 3rd Spouse's Name:______________________
> > Lover's Name:___________________________
> > Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
> > (_) Sister
> > (_) Brother
> > (_) Aunt
> > (_) Uncle
> > (_) Cousin
> > (_) Mother
> > (_) Father
> > (_) Son
> > (_) Daughter
> > (_) Pet
> > Number of children living in household: _____
> > Number of children living in shed: ______
> > Numbers that are yours: ______
> > Mother's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
> > Father's Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
> > Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
> > Total number of vehicles you own: ___
> > Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
> > Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
> > Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
> > Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
> > Firearms you own and where you keep them:
> > ____ truck
> > ____ bedroom
> > ____ bathroom
> > ____ kitchen
> > ____ shed
> > Model and year of your pickup: 196_
> > Do you have a gun rack?
> > If no, please explain:
> > Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
> > (_) The National Enquirer
> > (_) The Globe
> > (_) TV Guide
> > (_) Soap Opera Digest
> > (_) Rifle and Shotgun
> > Number of times you've seen a UFO:_____
> > Number of times in the last 5 years you've seen Elvis:_____
> > Number of times you've seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
> > How often do you bathe:
> > (_) Weekly
> > (_) Monthly
> > (_) Not Applicable
> > Colour of eyes:
> > Right_____ left_____
> > Colour of hair:
> > (_) Blond
> > (_) Black
> > (_) Red
> > (_) Brown
> > (_) White
> > (_) Clairol
> > Colour of teeth:
> > (_) Yellow
> > (_) Brownish-Yellow
> > (_) Brown
> > (_) Black
> > (_) N/A
> > Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
> > (_)Red-Man
> > How far is your home from a paved road?
> > (_) 1 mile
> > (_) 2 miles
> > (_) Just a whoop-and-a-holler!
> > (_) road?
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
Watching the halloween episode of the Simpsons introduced me to this captivating writer...
Edgar Allan Poe (1809-1849).
Born in poverty at Boston, January 19 1809, dying under painful circumstances at Baltimore, October 7, 1849, his whole literary career of scarcely fifteen years a pitiful struggle for meresubsistence, his memory malignantly misrepresented by his earliest biographer, Griswold, how completely has truth at last routed falsehood and how magnificently has Poe come into his own, For "TheRaven", first published in 1845, and within a few months, read, recited and parodied wherever the English language was spoken, the half-starved poet received $10....!!! Less than a year later his brother poet, N. P. Willis, issued this touching appeal to the admirers of genius on behalf of the neglected author, his dying wife and her devoted mother, then living under very straitened circumstances in a little cottage at Fordham, N. Y.:
"Here is one of the finest scholars, one of the most original men of genius, and one of the most industrious of the literary profession of our country, whose temporary suspension of labor, from bodily illness, drops him immediately to a level with the common objects of public charity. There is no intermediate stopping-place, norespectful shelter, where, with the delicacy due to genius and culture, be might secure aid, till, with returning health, he would resume his labors, and his unmortified sense of independence."
known for his anigmatic horror stories and poems, Poe established the foundation for horror/science fiction genre in the history of literature...
I consider "the Raven" to be one of the greatest poems in the American literature, and it's hard not to agree with that....!!!
in here I quickly formulated a short trivia about the man behind the Raven....
hope u enjoy it, I know I will........
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door-
Only this, and nothing more."
Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow;- vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow- sorrow for the lost Lenore-
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Nameless here for evermore.
And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me- filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating,
"'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door-
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door;-
This it is, and nothing more."
Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Sir," said I, "or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you"- here I opened wide the door;-
Darkness there, and nothing more.
Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortals ever dared to dream before;
But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, "Lenore!"
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, "Lenore!"-
Merely this, and nothing more.
Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely that is something at my window lattice:
Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore-
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more."
Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore;
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door-
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door-
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.
Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore.
"Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou," I said, "art sure no
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore-
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
Much I marveled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning- little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blest with seeing bird above his chamber door-
Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as "Nevermore."
But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered- not a feather then he fluttered-
Till I scarcely more than muttered, "other friends have flown
On the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before."
Then the bird said, "Nevermore."
Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
"Doubtless," said I, "what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one-burden bore-
Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore
Of 'Never- nevermore'."
But the Raven still beguiling all my fancy into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and
Then upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore-
What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking "Nevermore."
This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet lining that the lamplight gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamplight gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!
Then methought the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose footfalls tinkled on the tufted floor.
"Wretch," I cried, "thy God hath lent thee- by these angels he
Hath sent thee
Respite- respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil! - Prophet still, if bird or
Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted-
On this home by horror haunted- tell me truly, I implore-
Is there- is there balm in Gilead? - Tell me- tell me, I implore!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"Prophet!" said I, "thing of evil- prophet still, if bird or
By that Heaven that bends above us- by that God we both adore-
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore-
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore."
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked,
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - Quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."
And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamplight o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted- nevermore!
Edgar Allan Poe