Saturday, June 10, 2006

Pip's Gayety EXpectorations......!!! (not for the weak)

Pip's Gayety Expectorations.....!!!

I remember seeing Great Expectations for the first time in a movie by Robert De Niro and Gwyneth Paltrow , and I was touched by this amazing story, and formidable characters with the exception of course of Pip old chap.....!!!
For those who are familiar with my articles and their tone would know why, but for the exciting new people let me summarize my disappointment with Dickens’s puppy "Pip -Handel- something-Pirrip- old chap" in a moment....!!!

Great Expectations the movies (yes there are 3 movie versions in addition to a short cartoon series, and other adaptations of the story) were perfect in my eyes and opinion......!!!
they had the Dickens’s twist, the girl, mortar, and the weak sissy Nancy boy (yep it's Pip old chap), but all that vaporized before my eyes when I read the book......!!!
and the only other author who managed to give me the same annoyance was Steven King.....!!!

Although this was a great book but as the great expectations of old Pip old chap faded away so did my expectations on the book......!!!

in fact other than pip and his gay gang, the story was fantastic, the story should've been on his uncle or father as I believe him to be "Joe G." as well as "Abel-Provis-Magwitch" if Dickens were to concentrate on these true characters the story would've been a bible in the history of literature.....!!!

Even though the story was talking about the development of pip and his "Bar Mitzvah" to goodness, the fact is he was poor in dimension and was clearly a reflection to Dickens’s past, and he lacked the ambition to fight back or regain his rights, in fact he lost every thing in the end and he ended up living with his friend Herbert who he helped him (without informing him) in establishing his work in Egypt....!!!
but to be fair he won one thing at least, remember his fight with Herbert, when they were skeletons on threads, fighting at the brewery mansion or the "satisfaction house"......!!!

Having such weak people sickens me, and I can't help but think of how the hell didn't that fag learn from Joe and Abel how to be a man....!!!
Abel died of punctured lung and broken ribs, but he never said:

"ouch, ahh.... it hurts, give me Panadol.....!!!",

even when Pip the fag asked him if he was in pain (I suspect Pip was also a retard) while in his dieing moments.....!!! and what kind of man who can't keep a secret to himself, and I mean when he found out who Estella’s parents were, he went to Miss "Cobweb" Havisham, then to Wemmick, then to Herbert, then to Jagger in front of Wemmick, then to Herbert again, then to Wemmick again, then to her father on his dieing moments (instead of helping him to go in peace he tells him after all these years that he had a daughter and he has a crush on her......!!! now how stupid is that....?!?!) and then he tried to tell Joe who like all men do in these kinds of situations: he told him to shut the fuck up.....!!!
not to forget, all the male characters he tried to tell advised him to keep his mouth shut......!!!
and I can expect that he told Estella of her father just to keep the secret.....!!!

I declare as usual my hate to weak people, and gay people as well, and I regard Pip as both a fag and a weak piece of meat (on paper).....!!! not forgetting his fag gang, although to give them credit, Herbert got married to a fine girl, Startop saved Pip from death and started rowing to help Abel escape, and Drummle who stole Estella and showed her the midnight stars during the day, but was killed by a horse......!!!

I have to say that my favorite character in this story was Joe who unlike any character I read of dickens stories was the first to have a Masochist tendencies, which explain his love to his late wife.....!!!

although in the beginning I couldn't understand why a BLACKSMITH tolerated the abuse his wife had a habit of inflicting on him on regular bases.....!!! he could have easily have hammered his opinion and his authority on her head instead of receiving her lashes.....
but I realized the connection when at her funeral he was crying for her and reminded Pip of her beating to both of them.....!!! the guy enjoyed hardship and liked to be in misery of any kind, especially in order to be pitied by others or admired for forbearance......?!?! it's kind of harsh but that don't make him less of a man in my opinion, he might've had his sexual desires through humiliation, which explain the apron full of needles and sewing needle......!!! the guy liked it rough, or his wife needed some kind of a repellant to soften his Blacksmithian grip on her boobs.....!!!

So we all know now that Dickens(1812-1870) saw Arnold Schwarzenegger (1947- ) and wanted him in his story....!!! err... that can't be right....?!?!
Great Expectations was again another view to Dickens life,
· he was a victim of child labor; Pip was too (for a short while),
· his grandma was a housekeeper; Estella’s mom was too,
· Dickens was ashamed of his lesser status having being the grandchild of servants and son of low status family leading to hiding his background from his wife…..!!!; Pip was ashamed from his origin and relatives,
· Dickens mother came from a more respectable family; Herbert’s mother was obsessed with her noble background,
· Dickens grandmother (father’s side) fled to Europe after being caught with embezzlement; Compeyson, Arthur Havisham, and other characters were embezzling throughout the story,
· Dickens was mocked and nicknamed “the young gentleman” at the factory, Trabb’s boy taunted Pip on his gentleman hood and way of walking and had the habit of mocking him,
· Dickens father was imprisoned for debt; Pip suffered and was almost sent to jail to be somebody’s he-bitch because of debt,
· Dickens worked in a law office as an errand boy; Pip had the custom to visit Jagger at his office and he used “the Avenger” to do some odd work (it sound amazingly interesting… believe me it’s not),
· Dickens worked as a court stenographer; his description to the court in his novel was heavily portrayed and incredibly fine-detailed,
· Dickens worked as a reporter in the parliament thus developing a criticizing opinion to the societies hypocrisy,
· Dickens married his boss’s(George Hogarth, editor of The Evening Chronicles) daughter, after some time of saving money and he was unhappy in his marriage; Pip wanted to marry Estella, the daughter of his benefactor, she gave him a hell of a time and broke his heart on different occasions, Dickens wife Catherine was dull and unsympathetic to him as Estella was to Pip,
· Estella left Pip for Bentley Drummle, and on the other side Dickens left his wife of 22 years of marriage (10 children between them) to a young actress called Ellen Ternan,
· Ellen Ternan knew him during the publication of Great Expectations and he formed the charm of Estella and the warmth of Biddy and his proposal based on her,

Anyhow returning to the main subject, Pip was a low point in "Great Expectations", he was the weakest link and the weakest character, he allowed people to use him as a tool (that's why Herbert called him Handel and not Pip, and refused to be nicknamed by the "Handel"-of the door-), Abel used him to show the people how he had the power to make a snobby gentleman out of a skinny Nancy boy.....!!!, and Joe as well used him as a cheap labor in his forge.......!!!, Miss Havisham used him as a sand bag to sharpen Estella’s claws, Estella took him as her second choice in the end of the second ending only to not to be labeled as a widow, and Biddy used him as a student to practice her teaching talents and as a baby sitter to her child "Pip" (in the original ending), and soo many people managed to use Pip old chap to their benefits, or can anyone explain to me why didn't he retaliate against his lying uncle "PIMPLESHUCLEWOOD CHUCLE PACK PUMPLESHOCK" when he told the others that he was his benefactor.....?!?!

The story boils my blood when I hear his name mentioned......!!!
and we should have read that when Abel got caught up by the police he took Pip by the throat and dashed him to the river so that we would read these words:

"
Pip was kicking more than a drowning donkey, he was twisting in pain while the police, Herbert Compeyson, and Startop were laughing at him, he realized it was his end and the only thing he carried to his last thought was how did he have a full bladder that day, and how warm the water has become......!!!
light, river, fog, and fags....!!!
"

the End of my Great Expectations, ... and yours.....

enough said....
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Money doesn't make you happy. I now have $50 million but I was just as happy when I had $48 million.”
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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