Friday, March 31, 2006

The drafts are on the loose....!!!

Aloha dudes and dudats....!!!

I gave it a thought about the advise idip gave me on the previous post and I went for it.....!!!

so here are some of the upcoming posts that soon will be seen on your screens.....!!!
p.s. I had to revise some of the drafts to suit this post.....!!!

========================

"chillis shitter"

"why do they place chairs near the shitter....?!?!?!

while on a brief stay in kuwait, I and a league of my friends had an awful experience in chillis or as I prefer to address it now as "shitty chillis" we sat near the shitter or as people usually say the rest room, and from the minute we planned to go to the resturant till we slept, people kept comming and comming intering the rest rooms and to my amusement i found that the number of people that entered farly exceeded the numbers of shitter finitos... "

"Weapons of mass destruction in palastine....!!!"

"You want to see Palestinians free, happy, have their land returned to them, get the Israelis out of their land.....!!!

Then we have to find weapons of mass destruction, send them to the palatines, and hope that the US finds out.....!!!
This idea came to me, after reading many reports and debates on the real reasons why the US invaded/liberated Iraq. I would like to see it happen to prove my point, what would happen if Palestine obtained weapons of mass destruction, and the united states felt insecure or for the matter of fact felt threatened and the need to interfere surged through the minds of the mania politicia.....!!!"

"سنة 2006 اكيد بتكون سنة هبيلة"
"من بعد سنة الطفحة و سنة الهدامة و سنة الحطبة راح يؤرخ المؤرخون سنة جديدة في حياة الكويتيين هذه السنة هي سنة 2006 السنة الهبيلة
ليش هبيلة براي المتواضع:
أولا: الرقلات مسكوا الديرة
ثانيا: شلون عندنا وفرة مالية و احنا ماكلين تبن......"

"This is really disturbing....!!!"

"I took Fozaq8's advise in Q's post to search the word Kuweaiti in google....I came across many interisting links that I would like to share with you later, but what cought my attention is this strange site....!!!
at the begining I thought that this was a cheesy islamic site that stated some things on kuwait and it's "kuwaiti arabs".....!!!
but what made me sceptical was what stated in the end of the page:
Prayer Points

Ask the Lord to soften the hearts of Kuwait's leaders to the preaching of the Gospel.
Pray for effectiveness of the Jesus film among the Kuwaiti Arab, with many conversions resulting.
Ask the Holy Spirit to show the Kuwaiti Arab the emptiness of riches and the true wealth of the Gospel.
Pray that Jesus will supernaturally reveal Himself as Lord to the Kuwaiti Arab.Ask the Lord to save key leaders among the Kuwaiti Arab who will boldly proclaim the Gospel.
Take authority over the spiritual principalities and powers that are keeping the Kuwaiti Arab bound.
Ask God to raise up prayer teams who will begin breaking up the soil through worship and intercession.
Pray that strong local churches will be raised up among the Kuwaiti Arab by the year 2000.

now some of you might say so what.....?!?!
so am I.... heck I thought it was funny to read this cheezy article by gospel followers about kuwaitis and islam which was rather leveled to kindergartin levels.....so I checked the home page, and this was what bothered me.....!!!

O.K... my point....?!?!
let me walk it with you....!!!
if you choose the intro, then you'd see a as for the enter the site, I was confused.....!!!

now this is supposed to be a gospel site, but why does it has a..... "

"كويت فجر السعيد"
"تعلمنا جميعنا ان مصر "أم الدنيا" و طبعت اللهجة المصرية على ألسنتنا، و عرفنا عنها اكثر مما عرفناه عن بلداننا، و كلهذا من أفلامهم و مسلسلاتهم.....؟!؟!؟!
اصبحت الافلام و المسلسلات نافذة الشعوب للتعرف على الثقافات و الملامح لأي بلد او منطقة، و كانت التجربة المصرية على عيوبها مثمرة على الجانبين السياسي و الاقتصادي، فاصبحت مصر ام الدنيا و مقر الجامعة العربية و مصدر الالهام السياسي (طاح حظه) للدول العربية، كما انها اصبحت مصدر دخل مهم لإشباع شعبها، و هكذا اصبحت فيفي عبده اهم من رئيس الوزراء، و صارت حصانتها و القبر محد يقدر يشك ابرة صوبها......!!!؟
موضوعي ليس عن فيفي عبده و لا عن سبب اتجاه المغربيات و التونسيات للقاهرة علشان يغنون سلط ملط......!!!؟
الموضوع عن تجربة الكويت في هذا المجال... لفترة طويلة، كانت الكويت العبو و المصدر الاوحد الخليجي في صناعة الفن في شتى انواعه، و كانت المسلسلات الكويتية محفوظة صم من قبل اخواننا الخليجيين والبعض ممن عاش في الكويت او الخليجو لا يزالون يعشقونها حتى الآن (راجع الاردن و معاي 30 مسرحية كويتية و 3 مسلسلات كلهم من قبل الغزو)....!!!؟
و سأتطرق لجانب اكثر تحديدا حتى لا اتشعب بالموضوع، المسلسلات الكويتية كانت دائما و ابدا مصدر فخر كويتي و كان ممثلوها نجوما يشار لهم بالبنان، لكن ظهرت على الساحة و منذ ما يقرب من 5 سنوات نوعية مسلسلات مكسيكويتيسية عفست الاكو و الماكو و اعادت تعريف مصطلح المسلسلات السكة، سنة ورى سنة قمنا نشوف الزحف من الايام العادية و حتى اصبحت رمضانية بالتخصص، و غزت هذه المسلسلات رمضان و خربوه......!!! و صار شهر رمضان من مجرد شهر عبادة و صوم إلى شهر مناحة و هموم، انا واحد من الناس كرهت تلفزيونات رمضان و جو رمضان بالدول العربية و السبة ادمان الغلقة و ضيقة الخلق و البجي و الطراقات........!!! "؟
"جمعية بوس الخشوم"
"قد اكون متعجرفا، و قد اكون حاد الطباع، سليط اللسان، قليل الادب، كل هذا لا يهمني كثيرا فهذا انا و كل من هو قريب مني يعرفني و يتقبلني كما انا، اذن فانا لا احتاج لأن اتخفى او اعيش من خلال قناعين..... يكفيني واحد ليضايق جلدتي......!!!؟
الكويت، هي قلبي و هي كياني و هي منشأي و هي مماتي، اسمع كثيرا من الاهل بأني وطني زيادة عن اللزوم، او انني "خاب عمري" و معور راسي "بهالسوالف" من اصدقائي، و آخر شغلة سمعتها كانت من الوالدة الله يطول بعمرها و هي تسمع مني اني رايح ازور قبر الامير في اليوم الاول من بعد وصولي من السفر "يحليلك يا عبدالعزيز انت وطني وايد" .......!!!!؟
قرأت جريدة الوطن اليوم و من قبلها الرأي العام، و قد لاحظت تكرار الصفحات في كلا الصحيفتين......!!! منذ وصولي من الاردن يوم و انا اشاهد على مدار مكوثي في الكويت (35 يوم) أكثر من 70% من الصفحات المخصصة لعرض القدرات الشرائية للشركات و الاافراد و العوايل و القبايل في اعلان الولاء و الطاعة العمياء و الرغبة في المشي مع القطيع يعني هالجرايد صارت عرض اسامي خرفان و شركات خرفنة......!!!؟
منذ متى كان حب الكويت يكون باعلان جرايد او اثبات مبايعة في صفحة.....؟!؟! و منذ متى اصبحنا نؤسس جمعيات وفاق و جمعيات نفاق ليدافع افرادها عن الامير و خياراته و ضد من، ضد اهل الكويت انفسهم......!!!؟
انا هنا اذكر بالاسم جمعية الوفاق الوطني سواء كانوا جمعية بوس و لا لا فهذه مشكلتهم في عدم اعلانهم عن اهداف هذه الجمعية و تركنا نستنج اهدافها و اجندتها الخفية مع اسمها المنمق......؟!؟!
الامير ذاته مصونة، و كلنا نقف مع ذلك شئنا ام ابينا، منذ متى احتجنا لأن يأتي شخص ايا كان ليعلمنا شلون نكلم شيوخنا او عن المواضيع التي يجب ان نتناقش بها او حتى في خياراتنا و آرائنا......؟!؟!
يا سادة يا أخوان، انا من حقي ان انتقد و اشتم من اشتم سواء كان من الشعب او من الشيوخ ان كان ما يفعله يؤثر او يسيء لسمعة الكويت، و حتى ينزل تعديل بالدستور يقول بأنه لا يحق لي ان ادلي برأيي هذا حتى في مدونتي او في الانترنت ككل فانه ليس من حقكم يا جمعية حب الخشوم ان تمنعونا من ان نعلن ضيقنا او قلقنا من نوعية و حجم الاسماء التي اختارها سمو الامير......!!!؟
الكويت مختزلة في شعبها ، و الشعب مختزل في الكويت......!!! الكويت تاريخ و ليس فرد، الكويت اهم من الامير و اهم من شيخ و اهم من فرد و اهم مني و منكم..... الكويت كل هؤلاء و اكثر.... وهي من يجب ان نهتم و نقلق لمستقبلها و لخيارات المتصرفين في شئونها......!!!؟
عندما يخطيء الامير سنقول بأنه اخطأ..... لا لأننا نتصيد الزلة عليه او لأننا لا نحبه..... و لكن لأننا نحب الكويت و هذا الحب يدفعنا لقول الحق حتى لو كان ثمنه قطع الاعناق.... و الحمد لله اننا في الكويت ارض الثقافة و الحرية الفكرية و ان كانت متأثرة هذه الايام من ابرة البنج او وزيرها الاكاديمي .....!!!؟
منذ نشئة الكويت لم يحتاج اهلنا لحب خشوم شيوخ او بوس ايادي المعزبين علشان يرضون عنا، و لم نتربى على العجاف و بوس الطيز قبل الايد و الكتف و الظهر و اعلان الوفاء او الولاء كما الحمير و البهائم في كل الصحف و بين كل الناس حتى نثبت حبنا للكويت....!!!؟
اعمل بصمت و بجد و وطنية افضل بكثير من ان تبصم بالعالي و الفاضي و المليان على كل ما يقوله المعزب حتى لو كان في غير صالح الكويت و اهلها و دع عنك المهايط و الصراخ بانك كويتي و تحب الامير و ان حب الامير هو من حب الكويت، لا يا صاحبي، هذان الامران مختلفان......
اكبر غلطة ارتكبتها في عمري كانت بانضمامي إلى اللجنة الشعبية التطوعية لدعم الموقف الكويتي عبر الانترنت.....!!!قد تستغربون من الاسم و قد تستغربون اكثر...."
"The 14th bloggers meeting"
"well it's better late than never.....?!?!
and we really do have lazy bloggers, don't we....?!?!
we had fun, lot's of it....
now we were 8 bloggers, and for some reason we all shared the same love and affiction to this taunting blogger who was the main subject in our amature podcast, don't rush yet....!!!
it needs work, and lot's of it....!!!
anyhow, we talked about all sort of things, and I distributed 5 Rababa's, don't remember who didn't get, and I forgot to give Forza the "Shibria" he fundled with it alot, and I as an evil do'er didn't tell him till I forgot......!!! ...."
"The Newly Weds Guide for Breaking the Ice....!!!"
"first of all, under no conditions should I be liable for prosecution for you stupidity, I'm not a sex therapist, am just a normal pervert....!!!
this is to help all those shy shaggers wanna beeeeeees, to have a seductive fruitful wedding night.....!!!
PART (I) The Twister Game:
this game is easly obtained from any store in your area, except if your in Kuwait, then go look for it in Sultan center, and pray to god that your lucky......!!!
the game looks innocent, and it is....!!! but you must have a perverted eye to see the possibilities of this game....!!!
the rules are easy....
just get her/ or him if your that horny(to the girls not the gay farts) to go along this game.....
turn the "nob" and perform as the pointer shows you.... right hand green i.e. place your right hand on any green circle... now it's your partner's turn, help them with it at the begining, and stealthly choose your options to come across the "path" of your partner.......!!! you should be by now in the hot zone (that's about 3 meters or 4 miles in the american system), act as if your not that elastic especially when your partner is in a location "under" you, fall on him and giggle innocently and do the " SORRY ME NO MEEN THAT, HEHE ME SHY " act and repeat the procedure few times more till your partner gets the hint, if he's that stupid rape him already he wont know the difference....!!!
now be sure before using this technique that you should be at least fit to do these kinds of acrobatic stunts, and having the proper clothe to go with it, no one likes to see a hairy but or a busted thong or a red juicy pimple.....!!!
PART(II) The Trueth or Dare game: ..."
"how many sexual types do we actually have....?!?!"
" lets go through what I know, if you have additional types then do share : hetero (the normal and correct way), bi(has more options in the menue), homo(asshole abusers who degenrate them selfs) if are females from birth and have all pussy parts then it's interisting, tri (see italian movie Salo), beastly(stingrays dogs, pigs, horsy, pony, cows, sheep, fish, jelly fish, and some concider having sex with bacterial cultures in petri dishes as beastly sex....!!! I classify them as mineral fuckers), minerals, salts, and polymer fuckers (carton figurine(barby, transformers, thundercat's Chitara, J.I.Joe's, fluffy love bears, condom masturbators---> stupid), plastic inflators, salts, oils, creams, puff fuckers, ...etc.), food fuckers (bananas, carrots& cucumber, apple tossers, pepsi can inserters, pies, ), tool fuckers (screws, pipes, drills, )..."
"how to innintiate making passionat love to a camel, stingray....!!!"
"you need:a camel, Vasiline, KY, chains, a knife if things get ugly...."
"tragically in love....!!!"

"sense, feeling, passion, infatuation, fervor, and insatiable lust......!!!
this is what I feel right now, the problem is, there is nobodyI share this infatuation with....!!!
I feel forlorn lost, and missing something that lingers my emotions with this invisible matrix of barbed threads......!!!
I miss that feeling to be close to the person I'm in love with..... she's far away from me, and I hate that.....!!!
I'm not the kind who's comfortable with pouring my passions and feelings through the phone and even now I don't have that option either.......!!! ..."
"the chronics of rednick....!!!"
"I PLEAD GUILTY.....!!!
what i'm going to post here is a stupid way to get high if u cant optain a source to hash....from banana.....!!! yes a banana....!!!
even though i don't smoke or know how or going to in the near future, but for some stupid shitty reason i know how to make a مهلوسة from banana....!!!
first you peel the banana and eat it, you need to eat 10 to 12 bananas....!!!
if your still here and not throwing up then take the peels and with a fine knife peel the insides and place them.....!!! I'll do it in an easy way....
Bananas:
  1. Obtain 15 pounds of ripe yellow bananas
  2. Peel all and eat the fruit.
  3. Save the peelings
  4. Scrape all the insides of the peels with a sharp knife.
  5. Put all the scraped material in a large pot and add water.
  6. Boil 3 or 4 hours until it has attained a solid paste considtency.
  7. Spread paste onto cookie sheets and dry in ofen for about 20 minutes.
  8. This will result in fine black powder.
Usually one will feel the effects after smoking three to four cigarettes.
Cough syrup:
mix robitussion a-c with an equal amount of ginger ale and drink.
The effect are sedation and euphoria.
Never underestimate the effects of any drug!
You can od on cough syrup!
Toads:
  1. Collect five to ten toads, frogs will not work. The best kind are tree toads.
  2. Kill them as painlessly as possible, and skin immediately.
  3. Allow the skins to dry in a refrigerator four four to five days, or until the skins are brittle.
  4. Now crush the skins into powder and smoke.
  5. Due to its bad taste you can mix it with a more fragrent smoking medium.
Nutmeg:
  1. Take several whole nutmegs and grind them up in an old grinder.
  2. After the nutmegs are ground.
  3. Place in a mortar and pulverize with a pestle.
  4. The usual dosage is about 10 or 15 grams. A larger dose may produce excessive thirst,anxiety,and rapid hart beat, but hallucinations are rare.
Peanuts:
  1. Take 1 pound of raw peanuts (not roasted)
  2. Shell them, saving the skins and discarding the shells.
  3. Eat the nuts.
  4. Grind up the skins and smoke them. ...."
"This is my Love letter...." (I have to take her permission first before posting it)
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that's some of the drafts that awaits my lazy hands to work on....!!!
so what do you think about them....!!!
nough said.....!!!

2 comments:

iDip said...

That's SOOO long (rubbing it in)

- 2006: wait till you witness 2007.

- Then google "Kuwayti".

- I must have an e-copy of the podcast (I know I didn't invite you yet :D )

EXzombie said...

hehehehehe....

you asked for it....!!!

I should refer on the gospel post the link to their site, but I think it's better this way.... well until I decide to post on it.....!!!

about the podcast... how about I send you the wave and you do the rest of Ipoding especially the part were we chastize our mutual freind.....!!!